When (yes when) I own the Jazz…
When I was younger, I had a couple of career options. Famous Actor, President, NBA Player to name a few. I recently did some soul searching and realized the NBA might not be for me. Not because of a lack of skills or anything, simpy because it just is not for me…and by that I mean I am terrible at basketball. Jumping has never been my forte and I am purely skin and bones. With that in mind, I decided to scratch my dreams of playing, and decided I would just buy the Jazz. See playing in the NBA was never a sure thing, but owning the Jazz is something I will do. Larry Miller get the papers ready, because I graduate in about two years. So when, not if, I own the Jazz, there are a couple things I am going to change:
First, Dippin Dots. Do you think, since it is the ice cream of the future, they took the future inflation into account when they set their prices? Cause wow, I love Dippin Dots, but not enough to pay half a semester’s tuition for a cup. So when I own the Jazz, I will bring the Dippin Dot prices down.
Next, Jerry Sloan. I am going to have someone keep a couple strands of Jerry Sloan’s hair. That way, when Jerry retires, we can simply make a clone and keep winning. I feel that is the best way to ensure that the Jazz’s future is a prosperous one.
Furthermore, Free-Stuff-Thrower-People. You know the people who come out and throw free t-shirts, balls, See’s candy, etc.? I swear they throw stuff to everyone but to me. The last game I was at (Cleveland), the thrower came out of the portal and I stood up and made clear eye contact and pointed and cheered for him to give me something. So what does he do? First, he throws stuff to the people in front of me, then he runs past me and hands stuff to the people behind me. I am thinking next time I will use reverse psychology on him and not cheer. Anyway, when I am the owner, I want something thrown to me every game.
Lastly, the Bear. I will pay him whatever he wants. I certainly am not man enough to go down the stadium stairs on a sled.
Those are a few things I will do when I own the Jazz.
4 Comments to “When (yes when) I own the Jazz…”
Search Jazzbots.com
Be connected!
Get the latest from Jazzbots delivered to your email
Get the latest from Jazzbots delivered to your phone
Bookmark and favorite Jazzbots.com
Jazz Inside Scoop
The FREE, Official E-mail Newsletter of the Jazz.
The Inside Scoop is one of the best ways to keep up-to-date with your Utah Jazz. We'll provide you with information year-round about the Jazz -- breaking news, special event information, unique merchandise & ticket offers, promotions, advance contest opportunities and more.
Featured Sponsors
Jazzbots Recent Readers
Jazz Polls
Loading ...
I was at the Cleveland game as well, and they not even once threw anything to my entire section. (Nose-bleed, YY)
Ya i was nose bleed too. I am sorry they didn’t throw anything to your entire section…
hahaha! good stuff man, good stuff.
Cameron,
You make some bold statements regarding ownership of the Utah Jazz, and not that I want to crush your dreams but help you look at this realistically:
1- how can you afford this purchase right out of college
2- wouldn’t the jazz start losing if a naive college kid owned them
3- what would guarantee your dedication to this organization?
- I believe in your I just want to make sure you’re thinking ahead.
Next in regards to Dippin Dots, have you heard of supply and demand? The demand of dippin dots is high enough to warrant the high prices. I personally have paid full price for them at places like lagoon, jazz games, etc and have never regretted my decision.
I agree with everything else you said for the most part, although I feel like you should try harder to ensure the jazz dynasty stays strong during your alleged reign. Just a thought.
Leave your Comment