Laker Sacrifice

Posted by J R Stewart on May 13, 2008

‘It’s a Long Walk’

There is nothing better than an Aztec shaman marching the Laker fans up the pyramid, stretching them over the sacrificial alter, ripping their hearts out, holding it up, while still beating and rolling the lifeless corpses down the steps. Ahhhhh, the Mayans and Aztecs…they knew how to treat Laker Fans!

That’s almost what happened with the 2 Jazz wins. The Jazz ripped their hearts out.

The Laker fans invaded the ESA. They were on one side and the row behind us. We almost felt like we were in the Staples Center. They all came in wearing nondescript coats and sweaters, covering up their Laker jerseys. Once in their seats they unveiled some of the finest puke yellow Kobe wear.

Inquiring minds wanted to know where in California they were from, since this sort of devotion must run deep. Foolish me! They’d never lived in California, let alone LA. They have attended just a couple of a Laker games in the past and rarely watch them on TV. I asked them about some of the Laker players, and they gave me this blank stare. Oh…they had heard of Mr. Arrogance, Coach Pill and the petulant man-child, Kobe, but were pretty ignorant as to the rest of the Lakers. Laker personnel, stats, record or history…please! All but one was unfamiliar with Kobe paying off his accuser, in his rape indictment, to get her to withdraw the charges, or the humongous diamond ring, given as a peace offering, to his wife. The other Cobe (Karl) and his coach dad? That gave me another blank stare. Hummmm, seamed like there might be a distant memory lurking there, but no recognition. So, I gave up. Obviously, not the most knowledgeable NBA or even Laker fans.

I didn’t ask, but got the feeling they were bandwagon Laker fans or possibly hard core Jazz/Mormon haters. Just a feeling.

I could see this was going nowhere, so we circled the wagons and waited for the attack. In the past we’ve had some very obnoxious Laker fans buy tickets near us. One kindly Laker fan even shared his beer down the back of my wife’s blouse. They have usually been confrontational, trying to pick fights etc, but this group was pretty mild mannered. Probably it was the fact the Jazz kept the lead and won the game, keeping the Laker fans in misery throughout the night. Not that we could have heard any of their feeble attempts to cheer, with the ESA crowd at well over 100 decibels throughout the game.

We didn’t have to say a word or rub it in. They covered up their puke yellow and exited just before the end, to quickly get out the arena, with their tails between their legs, before a lynch mob formed.

As the Jazz Bear rolled their lifeless corpses down the ESA aisles, he held their still beating heart high, appeasing the NBA gods of true justice for the underdog Jazz.

Ahhh, it was sweet.

Jazzaholic

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Sienna on May 13, 2008 said:

That was awesome…true jazz fan and laker hater =)

J R Stewart on May 13, 2008 said:

After Ronnie Turiaff executed his flagrant 2 throw down of Ronnie Price, I turned to the couple next to me and said, “now that’s got to make you proud to be a Laker fan!” The wife lowered her eyes in shame and the husband, fortunately a little shrimp, or I wouldn’t have had the guts to say it to him, just glared.

Go Jazz!

Jazzaholic

Ernest Monson on May 13, 2008 said:

Just a short note,
Does MVP stand for most valuable player?, or MOST VISABLE PHONY???
OHHHHHHHHHHH my back, my back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GIMME DA BALL, GIMME DA BALL
Thanks for this opportunity
HELLO Derrickkkk
Ernest Monson
eemonson@yahoo.com

kobe1 on May 13, 2008 said:

Dude, Jazz was lucky to win game 4, only because Kobe got injured but u all will see on Wednesday. LA #1…

J R Stewart on May 13, 2008 said:

DUDE, The Jazz are always thankful to win any games.

There’s no entitlement for the Jazz. A poor little, small market team, with no glitter, no stars, no runaway payroll, no free gifts (Pau), they have to earn every win and get a lot of breaks too. They’re the youngest team left in the playoffs, a work in progress, but when they do get that rare break and that occasional win, they concentrate on just winning the next game.

No excuses when they lose, no bragadosiousness when they win, the Jazz are just happy to be playing with a chance to advance.

Jazzaholic

Ernest Monson on May 13, 2008 said:

Dude (Kobe 1/2)
If the Jazz had a player that lived in a glass bubble, it would be easy to win games if one player gets 30 or 40 fouls called in their favor. HMMMMMMMMM beter check the wallets of the officials. Has happened before.
May kobe have a slow and unmiraculous recovery from that poor ailing, “back injury”??????? I think mostly what hurt him was he was caught fouling unlike last game in la where his hooking and elbows to the face were ignored! Hey man Harpering hit his face on my elbow I wasn’t trying to elbow him> Ya right, then they sent out one of the enforcers to throw a poor small guy to the floor and crack his head. Seems to me all the stories about how dirty the Jazz play is just like OH MY BAAAAAAAAAAACK — gimmee da ball.
Ernest Monson
eemonson@yahoo.com
Hey Darik

RRR on May 14, 2008 said:

“No excuses when they lose, no bragadosiousness when they win, the Jazz are just happy to be playing with a chance to advance.”

JR you have a way with truth!

I wonder if this is perhaps one reason the Jazz get so little respect in the medias eyes, they really do display REAL class, both on and off the court!

That must be it, CLASS ENVY!

Roger on May 14, 2008 said:

Have you seen D-Will using injury as an excuse for not winning a game in this or the last series, he’s been playing with an injured back and sore/sprained hand for over two weeks and is still rising to the occasion, no excuses! But LAL fans feed only on blind faith. Well I say it’s time for a reality check, maybe the Lakers have met an honest match and their one-man-band isn’t good enough (at least without a biased referee’s help). Suck it up guys, like Utah fans and the Jazz have for about the last 20+ biased years… Remember, no excuses. If you suit up and play, no using the ‘hurt back’ excuse as a cop-out reason for losing the game.
Win, or go home.

Jen on May 14, 2008 said:

And remember, Carlos plays with a sore back almost every night. That’s why he wears a heating pad, a shirt, AND his warm up jacket any time he’s on the bench. He’s trying to keep his back loosened up so it doesn’t spasm on him. When was the last time you heard HIM complain?

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