And the Dance Continues…

Posted by Annie Whittaker on October 02, 2008

‘The Belle of the Ball and Masha’

Here in my little corner of the world, everything that I do at this time of year (eating, sleeping, working, existing) revolves around the homecoming dances of the local high schools.  With the eve of the first Jazz game rapidly approaching, and with training camp started, the meshing in my mind of two of the largest components of my world was pretty much inevitable.

I’ve come to the conclusion that we all follow much of the same patterns in life, so the comparison of the Jazz to a homecoming dance is really not that far out of the ability to suspend disbelief.  Take for instance the main characters in the high school dance drama:

The Freshman- anxiety is at an all time high for this kid.  He just got his drivers license, the thought of entering a flower shop-let alone having to pin-on that corsage causes enough anxiety to erupt a plague of hives, an infestation of break-outs just in time for the big day.  –I wonder how Kosta Koufos is feeling this week?

The Senior- this guy is smooth, he’s a veteran, he’s got it all figured out.  He’ll have a great time, with no worries about how things work, he even knows how to dance and enjoys it!  –At this point in Deron’s career, he knows the Jazz system, the parts are in place, he is ready to have his best season yet.

The Too Cool for School Kid- why does this guy even show up to these things?  Perhaps he has hopes of a big payoff at the end.  He seems like a good choice in the beginning; however,  it becomes apparent in the waning hours of the evening that he knows how to dance, he just doesn’t want to.  –Sorry Carlos, the sting still remains.  During the playoffs, you moved your feet on defense and used your hands to reach in just about as well as Elaine danced on Seinfeld.

The Silly Girl- she spends hours upon hours running all over town to find the dress, the hairdresser, the nail tech, the shoes, the makeup.  She has a tantrum because flowers don’t grow in metallic turquoise.  Her flowers are going to be beautiful, but this mini-diva can’t start the day of the dance without creating some drama.  –This may be a little too much dredging up of the past, but the similarities were just to good to pass up.  I actually think Andrei will be the Belle of the ball (in a totally masculine way) this season.  And speaking of fancy dresses, Masha Kirilenko is wearing one in  a photo that includes Andrei on a hot, romantic billboard advertisement for her store, on the way to the ESA.  Kudos on that ad campaign.

The Dance Mother- utter this name in my professional circles and the force of rage that bubbles up from under the surface of an otherwise happy and pleasant person is powerful enough to run a small town for a month.  Not all mothers are like this, but the ones who are; poison the well for all the rest.  They try to live their fantasies of a victorious past, vicariously on the backs of their mortified children.  They stir things up, they make a scene, they call your work ugly(make up stories), they demand accountability for the injustice of such atrocities and they try to micromanage the production of their child’s floral arrangement until the final product looks nothing like what their child originally ordered on their own.  Nobody in their right mind would wear what this triumphant ogre holds aloft as she prances out of the store while cursing the peasants in her wake…. (wow sorry to be so realistic in my description-truth is indeed stranger than fiction).     –We’re really lucky on this blog to be associated with very professional journalists who cover sports.  Toward the end of the last season, there were a lot of non-stories created by certain “sports” reporters which did nothing but distract from the Jazz playoff hopes.  For example, AK’s missing of a walk through practice with a legitimate excuse from his coach was turned into a story of high treason by certain reporters.  Some fans eat these kind of stories up and participate in the big drama, and I lump them into the Dance Mother category as well.  It will be interesting to see what the new tabloid stories will be this season.

Ever the optimist, I keep thinking at the beginning of a new season, that the Dance Mothers will finally let me do my job, and that they’ll realize that all the years I’ve stayed in business might have something to do with my skills, service, product, designs, etc.  But they just keep coming, and I never get used to it-at least I haven’t yet.

I wonder how long it took Jerry Sloan to stop thinking the Dance Mothers would ever quit?  His record really does speak for itself, too bad he never seems to be the one that comes out smelling like a rose.

Rate this post

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

5 Comments

Jared Conger on October 02, 2008 said:

all i can say is: LOL!

this really tickled my funny bone!

ps. Fanzz is having a warehouse sale outside of the EnergySolutions Arena, loads of great Jazz gear out there…
//end plug.

pmannion on October 02, 2008 said:

I knew this post would be worth reading once I saw the opening picture. Those darn kirilenkos…

justalars on October 02, 2008 said:

I think the whole Boozer leaving to miami/disappearing in the playoffs last year could fit into the “dance mother” catagory. lets live in the here and now and worry about next year next year and forget about last year!

Linda McFarland on October 03, 2008 said:

Justalars…..couldn’t agree more!!!

Annie Whittaker on October 06, 2008 said:

Justalars I agree about the Miami trip thing-I wasn’t referring to that in any way. I will say however, that Mr. Boozer better get some “happy feet” and “step in time” this year. There is no good excuse for a player in the 4 or 5 spot to get 3 or 4 “reach” type fouls in a game. None.

Leave Your Comment

How do I get an avatar for my comments?
It is easy and completely free. Just go to Gravatar.com and sign-up with your email address. Gravatar is globally recognized, so your avatar will show on every Gravatar-enabled website or blog.