Intimidation Factor, Utah Jazz style

Posted by Mallory Meyer on October 16, 2008

‘Chin-timidation’ (M. Majchrzak – NBAE/Getty Images)

There are many elements that make up a championship team.  One important piece is what some might call the intimidation factor.  The Spurs have it with their black jerseys and blinging championship rings, the Lakers have it because, let’s be honest, they’ve got Kobe, and the Celtics now have it as the reigning champs.

However, the big intimidation buzz this off-season has centered on the Houston Rocket’s addition of Ron Artest.   Analysts seem to think that this will be the missing piece that finally gets T-Mac out of the first round.  Jazz fans are getting antsy with our own front offices, wondering when our major addition of a big center will come to fill our intimidation void.

What I don’t understand here is how both fans and ESPN analysts alike have completely overlooked our unique intimidation addition this off-season—the beards.  The new facial hair makes us instantly tougher, and I’m thinking that had this happened about seven months ago, we might be sitting on a title right now.  Memo and Deron just look more formidable, and you know opponents are going to be shaking in their boots.  Now, if we could just get AK to grow a mean looking beard.  Then we’d really be sporting a killer-instinct. While other teams gain the intimidation factor by adding tough, key players to their roster, we do it by growing beards.  To many it may seem like an insignificant and insufficient addition, but let me ask, does the facial hair have the same potential to ruin the entire Jazz organization like Artest does with the Rockets?  Before we start fearing the Rockets, let’s make them prove to us that they are to be feared.  For now, I’ll stick with beards instead of questionable, hot-headed characters.

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14 Comments

Jared Young on October 17, 2008 said:

Sure, but what you’ve got to remember is that what you gain in intimidation you give up in aerodynamics.

Annie Whittaker on October 17, 2008 said:

Speaking of beards, that guy on the Red Sox is rocking the beard right now. In my annual NBA hair awards, there was a special category for beards, in which Baron Davis reigns champion. Memo might be in the running this year!

pmannion on October 17, 2008 said:

There’s no denying the coolness of Baron’s beard, but I’m campaigning hard for Memo on this one.

Linda McFarland on October 17, 2008 said:

Is there any NBA rule as to how much facial hair is too much? How about length of hair? I doubt that one.

The Meyer's on October 18, 2008 said:

I’m saying no rules about it based on what I saw last night. The Bull sporting goggles had the longest, nastiest hair I’ve ever seen and the refs didn’t seem to be complaining.

djames on October 18, 2008 said:

keep the beards boys!!!!

Linda McFarland on October 18, 2008 said:

djames… keep the beards but keep them neatly trimmed!!!!!!!

Jennifer Sokia on October 18, 2008 said:

Not only will the beards create the itimidation factor, but I think it will attract more fans because it makes the players sexier! But I agree with Linda, they need to be neatly trimmed.

Hans Meyer on October 18, 2008 said:

I’m thinking AK couldn’t grow a beard even if he wanted to. It would just look like the peach fuzz kids in junior high have.

Linda McFarland on October 19, 2008 said:

This is completely off the subject but didn’t know how else to get ther question ask. Anyone hear news on Williams sprained ankle????

Johnathan Kendrick on October 19, 2008 said:

Good news is the X-rays showed nothing was broken. It is sprained though. It will most likley be Monday afternoon before we know just how bad of a sprain it is. Bad news is he could be out for 4-6 weeks if it is severe. At the very least – he is probably done for the preseason.

McCall Meyer on October 19, 2008 said:

Memo’s beard adds to his “i just rolled out of bed” look. don’t get me wrong, i like it!!!

The Meyer's on October 19, 2008 said:

Oh goodness, all this beard talk means nothing if Deron is out for 4 to 6 weeks. We’ve got absolutely no kind of intimidation with him sitting on the injured list. I’m hoping for the best and will be refreshing the homepage a million times tomorrow until I get the verdict. –Mal

Linda McFarland on October 20, 2008 said:

The Meyers…..Amen!!!

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