Andrei and Fes: Perfect Strangers
Posted by Aaron Allen on October 20, 2008
“Cousin Andrei?” (AP/Douglas Pizac)
If you were alive and watching TV during the late 80s it was pretty hard to miss the exploitive hilarity of ABC’s buddy sitcom Perfect Strangers. For 8 seasons Balki Bartokomous and “Cousin” Larry brought the laughs and made us all thank goodness it was Friday. If you weren’t alive and TV watching during the late 80’s then Mr. Belvedere and I feel extremely sorry for you. It was a good time. Luckily, you have me (and Youtube) to recap Perfect Strangers for you.
In the show “Cousin” Larry is your regular blue collar worker trying to establish himself in the bustling metropolis of Chicago. One day he gets a visit from a fresh Greek immigrant (Balki) who claims to be his distant cousin. Larry accepts Balki’s back story and lets him move in. The duo start to do everything together. They get the same jobs, date (and marry) ladies in the same apartment building, and just generally find reasons to dance the dance of joy together, All the while Balki makes us laugh and cringe with his vague accent and hilarious non-sequiturs. The buddy sitcom hi-jinks lasted 8 seasons and culminated in a teary final episode featuring clips of Balki dancing slow-motion while “Unforgettable” played in the background. I loved Perfect Stangers. I miss it.
So you can imagine my happiness when I realized that, if the cards fall just right, the Jazz’s second unit this year could feature blue collar 6th man Andrei Kirilenko and the fresh Ukranian immigrant (complete with accent) Kyrylo Fesenko. Its Perfect Strangers 2.0, appearing on KJZZ game-nights this winter. TGIF. Thank goodness it’s Fesenko.
Now, like Matt Harpring’s poor body, let’s break this analogy down. Two years ago AK could have easily been cast as Balki. When AK was first in the league, he was well known for broken-english comments that usually ensued in hilarity. And let’s not forget the strange blond fro-hawk that he occasionally still sports. He was goofy/quirky enough to be Balki, especially after the “I would bite a throat for my teammates” quote during the playoffs two years ago. But last year, in the fallout from his trade demands, Kirilenko seems to have mellowed. His English is close to fluent now and, though he still plays with youthful exuberance, he seems to have learned to keep the rest of his emotions out of the media. I never thought I would say this, but recently AK almost seems savvy. He seems world-wise, having established himself in the NBA. His experience and European background allow him to be the perfect mentor (just like Cousin Larry) for the loveable giant Fesenko.
Feskenko is the perfect Balki Bartokomous. When he got to Utah, he famously misunderstood key aspects of living in the U.S. He thought he could get a nice car for 3 grand. He wore a gaudy gold “Fes” earring during rookie practices, like he was some DJ from Odessa. He admitted to subsisting on a diet of chicken wings and Dennys, and when he was first sent down to the Flash there was some confusion on how he would actually get to Orem because he didn’t have a driver’s license. The Jazz got him a chauffeur and a cook, but even then the last year has seen him almost miss a call up to the Jazz (he was in Provo and they couldn’t get a hold of him til three hours before game time), admit to being addicted to the sitcom Friends (he has 10 seasons of it on his laptop), and just generally exhibit the bumbling good humor and heavy accent that made Balki famous.
If the big Ukrainian manages to stay with the Jazz this season, hopefully he can find real mentorship in his Eastern European trailblazer, Cousin Andrei. On the court their games compliment each other, especially if they get a chance to anchor the second unit together. On the offensive end, Andrei is a fabulous passer adept at finding big men in the post. Defensively, if Fesenko plays to his size and shot-blocking potential, he can be the true center that allows Andrei to play his favorite position, power forward. In the past, AK at the 4 made the Jazz too vulnerable on the interior as they lacked an Eaton-esque tower to compensate for AK’s lack of physicality down low. Fesenko can be that tower if he lays off the Dennys and continues to work hard.
Off the court, humor me for a second and imagine if Fes and AK were actually cast in a sitcom like Perfect Strangers. It would be hilarious. I can see Fes bringing a girl home to watch a movie while a perturbed Andrei is trying to watch game tape and get to sleep. I can see Andrei trying to set Fes up with a friend of his wife only to have the double date dissolve into hilarity when Fes misunderstands the menu and orders something deathly allergic. I can see them celebrating with Russian folk songs after Fes finally passes his drivers license exam. I can even see them doing the dance of joy in slow motion while “Unforgettable” plays after an NBA finals victory. Now that would be must-see-TV. And it could happen. In fact, Russian TV station REN-TV produced a remake of Perfect Strangers in 2006. And what was the name of Cousin Larry’s character in the Russian version? You guessed it: Andrei.
Agree? Disagree? Have a favorite Fesenko story? Lemme know.
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Jared Conger on October 20, 2008 said:
i don’t know which i liked more; mr. belvedere, or perfect strangers.
i just know that i was always slightly disappointed that balki only really got a shot at the movies in the beverly hills cop trilogy; there were plenty of films that needed that type of character.