Wardrobe Malfunction…

Posted by Mallory Meyer on October 30, 2008
Mallory Meyer

Don’t get us wrong.  We loved being back in the ESA amid screaming Jazz fans, but we have to admit that the night was bittersweet–and by that we might mean more bitter than sweet.  A series of malfunctions really got us down…

Malfunction #1: “The Bleacher Malfunction.”  First of all, we aren’t “poster” people. We never bring signs to the games, and we can never think of anything clever to say.  But this time, we came up with something good.  Our excitement to flaunt our creativity was completely shattered when our beautiful poster fell between the cracks of the bleachers before the game even started.  Not even the ushers could retrieve it.  To say the least, we were heartbroken.  WARNING: Never leave your poster unattended.

Malfunction #2: ”The Wardrobe Malfunction.”  Someone needs to tell the Thuggets that their perspiration in not so attractive areas shows right through their thin, light blue jerseys.  Not a pretty sight when you’re sitting just a few rows up.

'Oops'

Malfunction #3: “The Pre-game Ritual Malfunction.” It’s well known that most players like to watch a movie or two before games, and what’s a movie without a huge bucket of greasy, buttery popcorn?  Well it appears that Boozer had the biggest bucket of greasy, buttery popcorn ever known to man–and then forgot to wash his hands.  He couldn’t seem to hold onto the ball in the lane, especially during crunch time.  Hey G. Briggs, please get a full set of wet wipes for Booze and his buttery hands.  We hear they’re on sale at Albertsons.

Malfunction #4: “The Chris ‘Bird Man’ Andersen Malfunction.” Enough said.

 Here’s to more sweet than bitter next time around.

–Dad, Mallory, and McCall

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  • 18 Comments

    Jared Conger on October 30, 2008 said:

    #3 – can’t really agree, he held the team together down the stretch with a big block, some scoring, some rebounding. one may call him player of the game…

    Mallory Meyer on October 30, 2008 said:

    I know Booze played well and I’m proud of him for stepping up. I’m even fine with awarding him the player of the game. But from where we were sitting (third row right behind the Jazz’s fourth quarter hoop), it was very easy to see him fumble the ball on about three or four consecutive possessions in the fourth quarter. It really just slipped right out of his hands. He did hustle to recover it (or benefitted from one of his teammate’s hustle in recovering it) so it’s all good. But that still doesn’t change the fact that he’s got to be more careful with those butter fingers.

    Jared Conger on October 30, 2008 said:

    i guess i’m just being sensitive about the big guy.

    it just seems like if he sneezes wrong, the utah public is ready to crucify him.

    Linda McFarland on October 30, 2008 said:

    I thought Boozer was great. It must be a tiny bit different without DWill because they play so much together. I disagree with you but since we are both great Jazz fans I will come to your rescue. We have seats just behind the big rotating sign and cannot see or smell the perspiration on the players. In the interest of making you more comfortable, we will gladly change places with you for the next game. See Jared, I can be really nice when I want to be,

    Suzi (mom) Meyer on October 30, 2008 said:

    I must say it truly was exciting being in the ESA last night with the all the hype and hoopla of the “season opener” and to me it was more sweet than bitter. Aside from the “sign misphap” which really was disappointing because it was a dang good sign that Mallory and McCall created, there was much to delight in. While my favorites, Okur and Korver (love the the new haircut), looked as cute as ever, how can we not delight in the fact that even without D-Will (who definitely is essential to the success of the Jazz team) leading the team, each player was able to hold their own enough to pull off a win. I have always loved the Jazz for their heart and I think each player last night showed a lot of heart — including Boozer. Yes, I agree with Mallory that Boozer has butter fingers at times .. as we witnessed last night from three rows up right behind the Jazz’s fourth quarter hoop; however, as the Meyer Family (me included) I think we are too tough on Boozer … and I appreciate Jared’s comment that we are much too eager to crucify him. It is important to note that without his 25 points and 14 rebounds we could not have won the game last night. I look forward to the return of D-Will to lead this team … a team with talent and heart .. to victory.

    Annie Whittaker on October 30, 2008 said:

    Boozer just shouldn’t ever dribble again. He’s allowed 1 power dribble and that’s it. He actually tried to dribble behind his back in the paint almost under the basket last night. Against a double team!

    Mallory Meyer on October 31, 2008 said:

    Thanks Annie. Glad you saw it too! Make sure to tell him your rule next time you see him.

    P.s. We gave fair warning that we’d be focusing on the bitter and not the sweet ;) . Here’s the sweet–Boozer played a great overall game and without his efforts we would not have won. And Mom, I’ll take the challenge to get behind Boozer and focus more on his “sweets” than his “bitters.” Go Boozer (and hurry back D-Will)!

    Annie Whittaker on October 31, 2008 said:

    Usually, the seats that I sit in don’t afford me the ability to see the sweat produced visions that you referred to—at least on the players. There’s plenty of too much to see due to sweat rings in the stands, especially in the rafters where I usually sit. (The heat rises don’t you know). However, I had a 15th row view under the basket Wednesday night where, in the first half Memo took a charge which almost knocked his beard off, and in the second half Allen Iverson was nearly knocked out of his tatoos when nobody on his team warned him of the Boozer brick wall screen he was heading for.

    Linda McFarland on October 31, 2008 said:

    Annie and all…….I ,missed the behind the back dribble!!!!!!I I can’t believe he would try something so stupid. Does he think he is DWill?? I was pleased that there was more defense shown. My husband and I especially noticed that a couple times Korver was doing a great job on defense. Now we just have to get each one to remember that they need to do it ALL the time. Wish I could have been there for all the excitment of opening night but we will see everyone next Thursday.

    JT on October 31, 2008 said:

    I love Boozer and he’s freakin amazing and doesn’t get credit for everything he does on and off the court. He’s a huge asset to the Jazz and I’ll take on anybody that says otherwise. Bring it on Booz haters. Bring it on.

    -JT

    RRR on October 31, 2008 said:

    Gee, Myers, would you like a family sized chunk of cheese to go with the whine?

    Boondock Saint on October 31, 2008 said:

    Wow…I saw the behind the back dribble, some butter fingers, and still thought Boozer did a fantastic job. No player is going to be perfect and Booz was seeing a lot more double teams because Denever didn’t have to follow Price like they would have D-Will. I think both Carlos and Andre played their hearts and we owe them that win.

    McCall Meyer on October 31, 2008 said:

    Malfuntion #5: The Spell Check Malfuntion…. its meyers ;)

    McCall Meyer on October 31, 2008 said:

    By the way, make sure you get cheddar, that’s the best kind!!!! :)

    Annie Whittaker on October 31, 2008 said:

    Just because I don’t think Boozer should dribble doesn’t mean I said or think that he wasn’t great otherwise. He just dribbled way too much in the game. No need. It turned into turn overs or needing to be rescued by his teammates. Still doesn’t mean that I’m a hater or don’t appreciate his monster contributions (other than dribbling).

    Mallory Meyer on October 31, 2008 said:

    Oh Annie, we can’t switch seats for the games–we need to sit together at the games! Sounds like we share the same opinions. I’m totally with you on this.

    jennifer Sokia on November 01, 2008 said:

    I was SO excited to finally see a Jazz game again. And please tell me you at least got a picture of the poster? What a terrible way for you guys to start the season! First, I am so jealous of your incredible seats. It has always been a dream of mine to be close enough to see and smell the sweat. Second, I agree with you on Boozer. Yes he did bring the team to victory, but hold on to the ball! I tend to be very hard on him as well, but I tihnk he needs it. I have a feeling he has a rather large head. I can’t wait for D Will to return…you know he is my favorite player no question! And I agree with you Suzi, I love Korvers new hair cut!

    Linda McFarland on November 01, 2008 said:

    Mallory….It was me, Linda Kay who wanted to trade seats. Let me know if you ever want to. One of my dreams is to sit close to the floor at a Jazz game. I just wish those who have seats down in front would either sell them or give them to a family member. It makes me want to cry when I see them empty.

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