What Not to Wear at the ESA

Posted by Annie Whittaker on March 31, 2009

A recent NBA related commercial shows clips of big games from many years ago. The one thing I noticed from the old footage is the attire of the people in the crowd. I’m guessing the time frame is the latter part of the 1960’s or early 1970’s. The majority of the people in the shot of the crowd were men. Those men were wearing button down shirts, ties, suit jackets and even hats. Not baseball hats. We’re talking Fedoras and Trilby’s. Real hats from when you wore a hat as part of your every day business attire.

Now I’m not suggesting people wear business attire to NBA games, I don’t know how comfortable that would be; probably not very. I’ve been observing the things people wear to Jazz games for quite some time now. I find it very difficult to pay attention to the actual game when I go to the arena, because there are so many interesting things to see going on around the game. In my crowd watching, I’ve decided in a completely unscientific, but what I think is a totally reliable personal survey method, that people fit into certain categories of ”fashion” when they go to the ESA to take in a game.

The majority of people fit into a very large category, and this one usually includes kids too. The team attire category. It usually includes hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, jerseys, even earrings. Typically paired with jeans, or possibly even warm-up pants. It’s a stretch, but maybe even sweatpants could be included here (many times they are stretched by their wearer). I just have one question and I’ll leave my opinion out of it. How do you feel about a man wearing a Kyle Korver jersey?

Another category is the trendy-girl attire. Again, I’m not saying it’s good or bad, just observing. I don’t apparently shop in the same places these people shop, so I’m just going to say it seems that they all shop at the trendy clothes store. Women’s engineer caps, faux silk shirts gathered at the neckline, capped sleeves, and banded waist, usually with a mock turtle neck, and dark jeans with heels have been all the rage this season in Utah. During the winter we also saw the return of the “Holly Golightly” or British Bobby Cap. I don’t think the girl in the Audrey Hepburn wanna be outfit was too concerned with the Jazz’s transition defense, or Milsap’s string of double-doubles. Oh, and don’t let me forget that while wearing your engineer cap you must gather your hair in a loose pony-tail/knot, arranged just-so at the nape of your neck. I don’t know why, I’m just reporting what I’ve seen. This person does generally cheer for the team, even if she doesn’t really pay attention to the details of the game as much as the details of her outfit.

I can’t talk about the girls without talking about the trendy-boys. The trendy boy doesn’t wear a baseball style lid. He wears a newsboy cap with a sweater and a scarf. Sure is cold in the ESA during a game isn’t it? This man will not be wearing tennis or athletic shoes, he’ll be wearing loafers with the elongated pointy toe box. No Jazz logo on this guy, but he’ll cheer and yell out complaints and insults with the best of ‘em.

The Band-aid looking accoutrement on the face category. Actually, I haven’t seen this one in the Utah crowd, only on Dwayne Wade.

The next category is a special one, the majority seem to be located on the lower level. This group is named after a large animal. Although this species is commonly found wearing leopard spots or tiger stripes, her namesake is actually more of a buff colored creature that sometimes wanders down from its mountain home. I haven’t seen any Jazz logos on her shirts or tight jeans, but maybe the Fanzz store will want to look into a cougar line of attire, and I’m not talking about clothes for someone that goes to school in Provo.

Let us not forget the Dancers. We all know what they wear. I hate the white long-sleeve outfits. There I said it. I’ve kept it bottled up for awhile, I feel a lot better now.

The most entertaining of all is tube top girl. I saw her at a preseason game. I wondered if she would reappear during winter. Probably not, right? Wrong. Weather isn’t a factor for the one who wears this shirt. Maybe it really is cold in the arena though, because at every game that I’ve seen this type of attire-wearer, she seems desperate to catch a rocket launched t-shirt. What could go wrong in that scenario?

The final and coolest group of people is very small. They are extremely rare and of the finest quality where fans are concerned. They have shirts with the Jazz logo, and even more rarely, baseball caps with the Jazz logo. If you encounter one of these people, you can be sure that it is indeed one of these very rare fan species by noticing the blood shot eyes earned from late nights at the keyboard, and lack of friends accompanying them at the game, due to their addiction to watching and participating in all things Jazz, thus foregoing a social life. Or you could look just under the Jazz logo on their hat or shirt to find the phrase: jazzbots.com

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jessielou on March 31, 2009 said:

My mom and I were just talking about this the other day. It is always so interesting to see the different types of people at the games. You can tell those people that are more interested in their attire and those that are there to cheer on our boys LOL don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Kyle Korver but guys that wear a Korver jersey automatically lose man points. I don’t know why but it just doesn’t work Also, I don’t like the Jazz dancers white outfit either…Thanks for this post Annie, it was fun to read!

Sheri on March 31, 2009 said:

I guess that would put me into the lets cheer for the team catagory since I just recently purchased my first Jazz jersey.

Jenn Sokia on March 31, 2009 said:

I never go to a game without my Jazz t-shirt on…But there is something that really bothers me and it is displayed in the photo in this blog. I hate (especially when it is given to you at the arena for a reason, i.e. at playoff games) when people hold the shirts to their chest. Why not just wear it? Will it cramp your style? You are, afterall, at a Jazz game. Ha ha there I said my two cents!

DeronWilliamsforPresident on March 31, 2009 said:

I’m an athletic shorts, long socks, jazz T, Jazz hat, old school green and purple Jazz jacket…where do I fit in?

Annie Whittaker on March 31, 2009 said:

Way to go Sheri!

Annie Whittaker on March 31, 2009 said:

DWill4Prez you are a SUPAFAN

Deb on March 31, 2009 said:

Annie,

Unfortunately I am forced into wearing the only Jazz shirt I own to every game, long-sleeved and white. However I would NEVER be mistaken for a Jazz Dancer. I have noticed the fans in the seat around me in the upper bowl (always) fall into the Jazz shirt, jersey etc and levis. When i arrive early I wander down to the lower bowl to watch the players from both teams warm up, before the official warm-up time, and I too am amazed by the style and abilities of the feline cat type. I am astounded at how they can walk on tiny high heels and in skin-tight jeans all the way down to courtside and still manage to balance a beer in each hand. I would think the shear weight of the beers and the upper portion of their bodies would cause them to fall over.
On the male wearing of Kyle Korver jerseys, it makes me a little uncomfortable. Kyle is a fun player to watch and I’m sure there are many men who can appreciate his basketball skills and mostly intelligent decisions, but still, a pink Korver jersey on a guy is not awesomely attractive.

Sheri on April 01, 2009 said:

Thanks Annie I just try to keep it simple and comfortable when I go to Jazz games.

Linda McFarland on April 01, 2009 said:

Wow, where do I fit in?? The only Jazz attire I have is the free cap that we were given at the ESA. I had earrings but I think we did, with them, as we have done we many other things. We put them in a safe place and now can’t remember where it is. (Damn I hate getting old!!!) I would like to have a shirt or such but I keep feeling like once we pay for the tickets and the gas and such that I can’t afford to spend more. My husband keeps telling me that the way I love the Jazz, I really should get one. Probably will after this blog. By the way Annie, do you work for the Jazz Shop???? I usually wear a newer pair of jeans and a shirt that has taken me a 1/2 hour to pick out. My husband has a logo shirt I gave him a couple Christmases ago. I really do try to look nice and you will never, ever see me in the high,high heelsw!!!!!! As for Korver shirts, I don’t care for the pink ones for men but why should Korver not get that kind of fan support just because the females have decided to croon over him. That isn’t fair to Kyle. I thought we wore the shirts as a statement to their basketball talent, not personal feelings. I personally like to see the blue shirts on men with Korver on them. It could really make him hate the idea that females swoon for him. I think his desire is to be a great player! That was a good blog Annie, it made us all think a little.

Mal on April 01, 2009 said:

Great topic Annie. I love it. My three cents….

Men: please don’t wear Kyle Korver jersies. It’s for your own good.

Jazz dancers: please get rid of those hideous white go-go boots. You look ridiculous in them.

Girls in the trendy-girl attire or tube-top tops: you don’t deserve the seats you always sit in. The rich men on the first and second rows are wasting their tickets on you and it drives me nuts. Please wear something Jazz related to at least pretend you care about anything going on.

Annie Whittaker on April 01, 2009 said:

Deb, it’s amazing isn’t–they’re always two fistin’ it with the beers! Never single!
Linda-I wear my Jazzbots shirt–so no I don’t work at the shop-I’m the one with the blood shot eyes.
Mal-I was complaining about the boots last year (and p.s. I hope the Jazz dancer advisor isn’t reading this) well, maybe she would agree with me about the white uniforms.

Boondock Saint on April 02, 2009 said:

Well after my week long hiatus from Jazzbots this was a perfect blog to start with. Seriously, a man wearing a KK jersey (even though he’s been playing out of his mind lately and I love it) is an automatic deduction in man points. I have been arguing with male friends of mine about the Jazz Dancers. Frankly, I don’t see the point in having dancers, cheerleaders, or whatever else at the professional level. High school, yes it makes sense and even college but at timeouts I’m looking at stats, foul trouble, whose killing us etc. etc. My buddies however TOTALLY (yes that is what he said) get it. As for me…I wear my homemade I love Paul Millsap with Man Crush written on the back…does that dock me man points?!

JayD on April 06, 2009 said:

I have to ask this ? to ya all . What is the difference of a man wearing a KK jersey instead of a lets say a D-Will or AK jersey ? Honestly it is the same to me . I personally dont wear name jerseys because I am a Jazz fan , so I wear Jazz jerseys . That way I support everyone on the team .
As for what other people wear , it is their choice . It is a free country .
Lets goJazz !!!!

Nancy Thompson Mahler on July 12, 2009 said:

Great observation Annie, very funny!!

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