A Championship Dilemma

Posted by James Seaman on October 06, 2009

When we’re not teaching the youth of New Orleans (scary thought), my roommate and I like to sit around debating the universe’s deepest philosophical questions.  Who would you rather be:  Tiger Woods or LeBron James?  Who’s hotter:  Erin Andrews or the woman who briefly plays the receptionist at Caesar’s Palace in The Hangover?  Who would win a fight between Gene Simmons of Kiss (purportedly an alien) and Star Trek’s Captain Kirk (who spends his time battling aliens)?  Important stuff, no doubt.  The other day I posed a new mind-bender, one more pertinent and pressing than all the others put together.  What if the only condition for your team finally winning a championship was that you couldn’t see it?  For me, this obviously means the Jazz while my roommate would have to miss seeing the Saints win the Super Bowl.

I’m not talking about just missing it in person.  No TV, no radio.  Imagine you’re on the moon, or in a cave, or serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan.  You don’t get to record the game and watch it a few hours or days later without knowing the results.  The Jazz win it all, and you don’t get to watch or celebrate it in the moment.  You can never tell a “Remember when we stormed the court?” or “Remember when we climbed over the bar and started drinking out of the tap when the Jazz won it all?” story.  You will find out via e-mail, or a newspaper headline, or a phone call.  Would you take this deal?

Unbelievably, my roommate answered, “Yes,” without hesitation.  He would settle for a championship that he couldn’t see.  He made the case that he’d do it for the city of New Orleans, for the long-suffering Ain’ts fans who have seen their boys win just two playoff games in 42 years, who lost their team for an entire season when Hurricane Katrina brought her wrath ashore in 2005.  His friends and his father who have lived and died—mostly died—with the Saints year after year could finally experience that ultimate thrill of victory.  Plus you’d still feel some degree of satisfaction knowing that your team won a championship, right?

Despite these points, I wouldn’t want a championship I couldn’t see and experience.  It just wouldn’t be the same.  And I think I’d always regret it as much as celebrate it, knowing I wasn’t there.  This almost happened to me once, actually.  When the Jazz battled the Bulls in the 1998 NBA Finals, I was preparing to spend the summer working in a salmon cannery in Alaska.  I flew to Seattle on the day of Game Six, watching from the land of Gary Payton as Stockton and Malone fell heart-breakingly short.  The next morning I hopped a plane to Anchorage, then a boarded a tiny jet bound for King Salmon, and finally hitchhiked the last 16 miles into Naknek, Alaska.  This strange travel day coincided with what would have been an off-day prior to Game Seven.  As the Jazz nursed their lead in the waning moments of Game Six, I fell into a near panic, wondering how on Earth I’d find a TV in the Alaskan bush to watch Utah’s triumph.  As you know, it didn’t turn out that way, but I remember the very real feeling of wondering whether I’d actually have to miss seeing the Jazz win a championship.

Looking back, of course I would love to say Stockton and Malone reached the pinnacle and won a title.  But for a fan, what’s the point if you can’t see it happen?

Weigh in and voice your opinion.  Would you take a Jazz championship if it meant you couldn’t see it?

3 Comments

Boondock Saint (Zak) on October 07, 2009 said:

Man that is a toughy but I think I might take the high road and say Yes, but not without hesitation or trepidation. I would, much for the same reason as your roomate, but it would be a painful memory for the rest of my life. In answer to life’s other mysteries…..it depends do I get my personality just Tiger’s or Lebron’s fame and paycheck. If not, I would go with Tiger because I just think he fits my personality better but I don’t particularly like golf. If I still get to be me but have all of Bron’s talent then I’d totally play in the NBA. I know who Erin Andrews is but I didn’t really catch the girl you are referring to in The Hangover so by default….Andrews. And no question…Kirk would win no contest.

Annie on October 07, 2009 said:

Kirk as played by the Shat–not even a contest. Gene Simmons would try to orate his way out of the contest, condescendingly and erroneously. No chance.

As for the championship question, I’ll rewrite it here: If a tree falls in the forest when no hearing being is there, does it still make a sound?

J R Stewart on October 07, 2009 said:

You can still gloat, even if you didn’t see it.

I’ll take the championship!

Jazzaholic

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