We’ll Know on Thursday

Posted by Earl Stevens on November 18, 2009

I received the following Onion-style news article by email – three separate times – this morning.  Once from a Laker-loving acquaintance in Las Vegas and twice from friends and family here in Utah:

Justice in Salt Lake City…

Salt Lake City, UT (AP) – A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Salt Lake County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Utah Jazz, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

I have to admit – I laughed for a few seconds before the Jazz homer in me took over.  At that point I fired a nasty response off to the Las Vegas guy (I hope Phil Jackson swallows his Google phone), and I’ve decided to wait until tonight to egg my dad’s car (let it get nice and cold first).

Now the joke itself – - It will remain in my inbox until Thursday night.  If they beat the Spurs at home, for the first time in a decade, I will delete the joke because it is offensive and untrue.  A win in San Antonio will demonstrate that this team, though flawed, has heart and will compete.

If the Spurs streak against the Jazz continues, I’ll save that joke because it’ll probably get funnier as the year goes on.

We’ll know on Thursday.

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4 Comments

D. Chris Estey on November 18, 2009 said:

Haha. I got the exact same email today. I told the person that sent it to me that I would pray for mercy on her soul for spreading such appalling and inexcusable sacrilege. LOL

David on November 18, 2009 said:

I’m with you there Earl! Let’s end this decade long slump!

kory on November 19, 2009 said:

That is unfortunately kinda funny

Boondock Saint (Zak) on November 19, 2009 said:

I’m ashamed….I laughed.

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